06 March, 2010

my complaints about the army...

There are some things that military spouses often complain about -- deployments or tdy's where their spouse as to be gone for an extended amount of time, PCSing, the late night on guard duty, kids not being around both of their parents...the list goes on and on.

The one thing that I hate MOST about Bradford being in the Army is this -- there are some things that I just don't want to do. As a stay at home mom, my livelihood...my JOB is to take care of my house, and my family and that's it. Which, I have absolutely no problem with. When I feel 100% and I'm not feeling sick or tired from pregnancy, I'll spend the day cleaning and entertaining my daughter. But there are still things that I really DON'T like to do. And when Bradford isn't home, I'm FORCED to do those things. Lets see...what I can think of right off the top of my head.

OH! Okay.

#1 - calling/talking to/interacting in any way with my landlord -- Its not that I don't like my landlord...he's a pretty alright guy. He's really understanding, lets us kinda get away with a lot of stuff, etc...I just don't like talking to him or interacting with him. It feels like confrontation to me...and I really don't like it. I don't know why, but I've always been like that. I wish I could find a landlord that I could talk to, and get along with and could feel comfortable enough around, but this landlord just isn't it -- and I don't expect my next landlord to be any different.

#2 - dealing with the car in any way, shape or form, other than putting gas in it -- A lot of this stems from working at a car dealership for a long time...and also comes from a little bit of a sexist point of view. If it has to do with the car, its the mans job. Men, in general, don't bullshit other men when it comes to certain things, cars being one of them. I don't like taking a car in to get the oil changed (except for when my most ultimate favorite mechanic Eli worked on my car) because I FEEL like they are trying to rip me off. Which is why I've gotten into the habit of mentioning that I used to work at a car dealership. I think that by mentioning that I was at one time "in the biz" so to speak, men in said "biz" will take me a little bit more seriously....I'm not sure that they do....but its still something that I don't like doing...

#3 - doing anything in the garage -- First off, I was told that the garage is NOT a place for the ladies. In fact, the only reason I was allowed in the man cave (as far as I am concerned) is because Bradford didn't have anyone to play pool or darts with besides me. Which is all well and good, I love playing pool and hanging out with my husband. But what I DON'T like, is having to keep it up to his standards. I don't know where everything goes...I don't want to spend hours out there trying to put everything back in its place...hell, when he's gone, I rarely step foot out into the garage unless I ABSOLUTELY have to....which thankfully I don't have to do that often. But the mans garage is intimidating! I don't like that.

#4 - anything and everything involved with dyi. -- INCLUDING putting pictures up on the wall. That's also one of those things that's a little sexist -- and I don't like doing it because I hate being responsible for lining things up the right way, and everything like that. Plus, I'm not sure I'm very good at fixing things either.

I know that these (even though I've already stated it) can come across as sexist. I believe that in the household, there are jobs that men do, and jobs that women do. Women clean out the oven and organize. Men take out the garbage and handle "manly" jobs, like dealing with the cars, and things of that nature. But that's just how I am....I like being able to have my husband certain duties and I handle my own. I deal with the bills, and the utility companies, things of nature.

I don't think its necessarily WRONG to like things that way either -- it's just what I'm comfortable with -- kinda like back 40-50 years ago when the man was the bread winner, and the woman stayed at home and did all the house work...I still like that part...only I expect to be able to work when/if I can, go to school, and I would still like help with the house work and kids...a little more equalized if you will, but for the most part, I like things the way I like them.


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