24 Weeks Already....*sigh*

Today, I went to my 24 week appointment at the OB/GYN clinic. I'm technically seeing midwives...however, I believe that they are truly more "med-wives" than the traditional midwife. The woman I saw today has been doing midwifery since 1982...so longer than I've been alive. She's seen many a birth. She told me today that I am "her type" of patient...because I'm informed and want to take control of my birth.

I didn't like her one bit.

Since I actually gave birth to Ophelia pretty quickly (labored at home until I felt I needed to go to the hospital, got to the hospital at 5cm, but pretty much as soon as my water broke, she was outta there), I asked what would be good to have on hand just in case we got stuck in traffic or something. Ya know...because it COULD HAPPEN.

Her response?

"Oh. Talk to the hospital and let them know what happened last time. Then just go in at the first sign of labor."

Wait.

What?!

You want me...the woman who doesn't even want an IV stuck in her hand to go into a hospital at the FIRST SIGN OF LABOR?! If you haven't read my birth story, I started having contractions at 3:30pm. They were noticeable and semi-regular. They weren't painful, just irritating. But it was the beginning of labor. My delivery was super quick. It took 9 hours for my contractions to get bad enough that I thought "hey, maaayyyybbbeee I should go to the hospital"...it was just once I got there that things went really fast. But I can't understand why a midwife would suggest going into the hospital at the very first sign of labor, especially when my delivery is what is quick, not my labor (which, she didn't even ask about...and I'm sure I won't ever see her again so she'll never get a chance to ask).

Maybe I'm more irritated about it than I should be. But should I really have to rely on going to the hospital instead of just being prepared? I have had uncomplicated pregnancies and uncomplicated deliveries. My babies have both been born healthy and there is nothing that is pointing towards Bachman's birth being any different. Instead of telling me to do something that will ensure I get all the interventions I don't want (EFM, IV, etc) why not suggest a few supplies that I could easily get on hand that would be useful in helping my husband delivering a baby before we get to the hospital?

I'm really frustrated. I don't want to go to the hospital at all...but there are no birth centers (that I've found) on the island. My options are deliver at Tripler again...which, my birth experience with Ophelia wasn't horrible...I want to make that clear. My problem was the lack of personal care, the fact that I was just another person in a bed...the fact that if I had been admitted, I would have been forced to follow certain procedures...the fact that I gave birth to my daughter in a brightly lit triage room with close to a dozen nurses that were unnecessary.

I don't want any of that...Not this time. Not with my last baby.

My other options include a UC birth (unassisted childbirth) or a home birth with a non-certified nurse midwife, which my insurance will not pay for. According to Tricare, they will only cover CNM's for home birth, even though CNM's rarely do home births.

While I believe that we (Brad and I) could have a baby at home, all by ourselves, on purpose, it honestly isn't my first choice. The "what-ifs" for me are almost too great. Would we do it if we had to? Absolutely...my births have not been high risk and the girls have been fine...however, I do like the knowledge that someone will be there who knows exactly what to do in case of an emergency.

So after digging around and doing some research, I found Sacred Healing Arts. Its a group of women who practice Naturopathic Medicine, Oriental Medicine and Midwifery. I had run across them before when I was pregnant with Ophelia, but nothing ever came of it. So I sent them an email (I've been sick and talking on the phone is not really in....well...anyone's best interest really. I sound all gross and raspy). I'll be interested to see what they say...and then try to figure out what I'm going to do about it. I haven't decided. Its not going to be cheap and going to the hospital is free for us because of our insurance.

We'll see how it all works out. I've just been so upset all day after talking to the CNM...I don't feel listened to...I don't feel like anyone is standing behind me....I don't feel comfortable. I'm there at the office for 15 minutes. They take my temperature and blood pressure. Measure my belly. Listen to the heartbeat...tell me when to show up for my next appointment. Any questions are just answered quickly. My cold magically turned into allergies as soon as I started to ask about it.

It's sad to me when I feel like I can do better on my own....on the internet or through friends or books....than I can sitting in my doctors office for 15 minutes.

Like I said...maybe I'm being too emotional about this...maybe I'm logical in my own right...but I'll figure this all out. I just want this to be the best birth. This IS my last baby.

I'll keep you all updated when I figure it all out.