two weeks

TWO WEEKS!! It is two weeks until we get to Hawaii. There is such a serious mix of emotions going on with me right now. And for different reasons too. I'm excited and nervous and stressed out all at the same time. I have taken care of everything I can from Washington State. I've done as much prep work as I possibly can. All that's really left when we get there is getting a place to live, and waiting for all our crap to get there. Though some of it is going to beat us there by a couple days. I also lined up our rental car for the 9 days we'll be without a vehicle...which, to be honest, is a little irritating...I'm pretty pissed at myself that I didn't push to have our car shipped earlier than we did. But there's nothing I can do about it now, just deal. The only other thing I'm worried about right now is money. I'm worried that the move into the house will completely break us financially. I know it'll all work out in the end, because it always does, but it's just one of those things that I worry about. But we have been able to find at least a couple places that we're interesting in at least going to look at. Hopefully we can find something almost as soon as we get there. And not have it break the bank. haha.

We're planning our going away party for June 27th -- should be a good time. Trish (my sister in law) and my mom have been a big help and it'll be great to see everyone, including my cousin, who I haven't seen in years! Probably since right after I got married! She's one of the only female cousin I have who is close to my age, so of course I relate to her super easy -- plus, we both have kids. I just wish that my in-laws could be here to visit with us. :( It's so hard living so far away from everyone sometimes! I dislike the fact that the baby won't get to be born around any of her grandparents -- though almost all of them will be coming to visit shortly after she is born...but it makes me sad. Maybe I'm just mostly sad for myself since I won't have a support system there for me like I did with Reilly. I'm confident in Brad being there for me when I'm in labor, but I did quite enjoy my mom and other family members being around shortly after I had her. It was really comforting.

Speaking of baby -- I'm just two days into the start of my third trimester! Three more long months to go. Sometimes I question, what is better? Being pregnant, or having a new born? I dislike both things for certain reasons, yet, why do women decide that they want to go through them? I suppose all I really have to do is look at Reilly and remember. Even though all the crappy moments of her being a baby, and all the crap of hers that I've dealt with over the years...and having her around makes all the shit worth it. But that still doesn't mean that pregnancy, or having a new born, are entirely awesome. With baby girl #2, I had worse morning sickness, I got way big WAY fast, and now, I get cramps on my sides when I try to go to sleep, and as of today, she's up in my ribs. I sometimes get the feeling that I am seriously getting too damn old for this! But -- other than MY complaints, she's doing just fine. :) We still don't have a name picked out for her, and I don't see that changing any time in the near future...but we do have about 80% of the baby gear we need (I still need to get more clothes and at least a baby bath) -- I've been buying diapers whenever I get a chance, which is great. I'm so excited to cloth diaper her little tush. I just hope that when she's born, she's big enough to be put in cloth diapers right away instead of having to use disposables for awhile. She's movin around in there -- still breech as of 7 June...hopefully that changes soon. I'm not worried about it, as my doctor isn't going to be concerned until I'm like...I dunno, 35 weeks or something along those lines? So I'm erring on the side of caution with that...and the placenta thing...*sigh* I'm still worrying about a lot of stuff. It's a mix worry for myself and the baby, and a worry about how the birth is going to go. It's always in the back of my mind. I have this perfect image of how I want it to go and sometimes I let everything get the better of my thinking...but I'm trying really hard to think positively about the birth experience and I'm crossing my fingers it turns out for the best.

I posted an article from mothering just the other day about kids being there when their siblings are born and the effects of it, including a tighter bond between the two siblings. I've been contemplating having Reilly around...but I don't think the military community would be too keen on having a child in their labor/delivery rooms. I know Reilly could handle it though. How this birth goes is probably going to decide if we keep the kind of insurance with the Army that we have right now. I might need a little more freedom the next time around. BUT we will cross that road when we get there I suppose.

I'll try to update again before we move -- I know the week before we leave is going to be busy. The weekend before we are having our going away party. I'll try to make time. Until then...

<3